Terra Newell killed her mom’s husband in self-defense, stabbing him 13 times, while her dog Cash bit his ankles trying to protect her. She’s now giving back to other domestic abuse victims by sharing insightful advice that helped save her life and working with organizations that support people trying to escape abusive relationships.
By: Heather Newgen | Twitter: @hnvoluntourist
When she was 25-years-old Terra Newell was forced to fight for her life when John Meehan, her mom’s con artist of a husband, viciously attacked her in an Orange County, Calif parking lot. The knife-wielding assault happened August 20, 2016, and Terra knew from the moment she met him that something was off with her mom’s new man.
“John didn’t want to look me in the eyes. He didn’t want to engage in conservation with me. I wasn’t beneficial to him so he needed to get rid of me,” she revealed.
Although she loudly voiced her concerns, her mom didn’t see the issues and within two months they were living together. The pair, who met on Our Time, a dating site for singles over 50, secretly eloped and Meehan totally controlled Terra’s mom. They were together in total for two years, but Terra only met him twice.
“He isolated me from the beginning. I went to help my mom move and I didn’t know he was moving in with her. I then came back for Thanksgiving the following week and had a confrontation with John. I was kicked out of the house and not allowed to come for Thanksgiving Day. He accused me of snooping through stuff and that I didn’t want my mom happy and that I wanted her money. I may have thrown a few F words at him,” she said.
While she didn’t see Meehan much, she did still spend some time with her mom, Debra Newell, a Southern California wealthy interior designer.
“I did see my mom here and there, but he was always texting her and having time limits on how long she was able to see us. She would be texting him the whole time instead of us enjoying a nice lunch together. She would always say, ‘oh, but he’s such a good guy. I want you guys to get along.’ I would say back to her, ‘okay mom we should get together with him. I’ll talk it out with him, and then he would never wanted to do that.’
After hiring a private detective the Newell family began discovering horrifying truths about Meehan. He claimed he was an anaesthesiologist who volunteered for a year in Iraq with Doctors Without Borders. Not true. Turns out he never went to medical school. He also had a rap sheet. Meehan served time in California and Michigan for stealing narcotics from hospitals where he worked as a nurse. In addition, the investigation revealed he swindled and terrorized several other women he’d met online.
Terra Newell’s unbelievable story has been told in a viral true-crime podcast and Bravo series “Dirty John” starring Connie Britton, Eric Bana, Julia Garner and Juno Tempo, and now she’s doing what she can to help others.
“I’m doing speaking tours, doing a lot of writing on my blog about PTSD, talking about red flags in relationships and also talking about how you can defend yourself in an attack like I did. There’s just so many woman that can relate to this story. As a kid you’re not taught to look out for red flags in relationships. You’re kind of taught to look at your parents’ relationship and learn by watching that. So it’s really important to teach women to do to notice red flags. John did isolate her from us and used things like coercive control and love bombing to target her and get her alone,” she told The Voluntourist.
“It’s important to speak about these things and get the message across to help people,” she said as she listed out the major red flags to be on the lookout for in relationships.
1. Not having eye contact. Not having eye contact shows they don’t want to engage and they don’t have the social skills that normal people have.
2. Isolation. If they try to isolate anyone who isn’t beneficial to their agenda. They will try to get rid of anyone who has doubts about the relationship.
3. My dogs didn’t want to engage with John. Animals can sense things that people can’t. So that was another sign for me.
4. Watch our for comments about violence and hurting people. When you hear remarks like that you have to analyze them because they show a lack of empathy. John said to my mom one time–she didn’t take it seriously because she thought it was a joke, but he said he would shoot my sister with a sniper and he wasn’t joking. My sister was giving my mom a hard time about him, which prompted him to lash out in a violent way.
5. Love bombing is like that new fresh relationship and how you’re so happy to be in it. But the guy is consistently always there. He’s doing whatever he can to woo you, but he’s not giving you a break and letting you have time to think, ‘Oh is this person really a good person.’ He’s always there and always giving you love. He’s smothering and never gives space, but does it in a way where you don’t feel that way and like you want to get rid of this person. You just feel like you’re getting loved, but it’s a calculated move to isolate you so he has full control to take advantage of you.
6. Coercive control is a tactic that a lot of con artists and psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissist use. They use a lot of manipulation like twisting around your words. If you get mad at them for something, they turn it around on you. They also isolate you from family and friends. They use anything negative you’ve said about them and use it to their advantage. For example, if you’ve said, “Oh my family doesn’t leave me alone.” They’ll be like, “You’re family can’t ever give you space. Is this how you want to live your life.”
She’s also got tips for online dating.
“It’s a place where predators have easy access to women. If you’re going to do it, you should be very careful,” she told us.
“Always meet the person in public for the first three to five dates and for the first month or two don’t let them into your house. Don’t go on three dates in a week. That’s a little too excessive. Create time limits. Go on a date once a week. Create boundaries,” she added.
It’s been almost three years since the attack and Terra Newell is now in therapy once a week to manage her PTSD, gives back as often as she can to others experiencing domestic abuse and enjoys spending time with her family who she says “are closer than ever.”
To read more about Terra check out her blog. https://terranewell.com/